Friday September 25th, Arm Cherries (the name for the podcasts loyal fans) woke up to a bonus episode titled Day 7. Quickly, we learn this isn't a regular "bonus episode." This is a full disclosure, I'm coming clean episode, in which Dax Shepard bravely shared his recent battle with prescription pain killers; despite having 16 years of public sobriety. Shepard opened up about the pain and humiliation he felt from this relapse and the real battle that took place with his ego about having to start over with Day 1, after having 16 years under his belt.
I am so grateful for his transparency- in real time. Especially, since he is well aware of the cancel culture we live in, and what the potential ramifications of this relapse could mean for him and his platform. The podcast was recorded on his day 7, a humble number after just celebrating 16 year sober birthday.
It is humbling to hear a man, who takes great pride in his ability to be honest and authentic - do just that.
SECRETS are PAINFUL.
SHAME is real.
The EGO is powerful.
He shares openly about the part his EGO played in the cover ups. If that stinking EGO could remain tamed, we could ask for help before things turn into a thing. The first secret is just one little thing we need to come clean about but after the snowball effect begins, that one little secret turns into an avalanche that seems too big for the EGO to survive. And it's right- the EGO cannot survive it.
I appreciate his honesty.
I hope people can receive his story with compassion. I think our ability to hear someone without judgment is more DIFFICULT than we let on. If we want to live in a society where people grow and evolve we have to allow them space to do so. I am worried for him about today's backlash, how that backlash might impact him long-term, and what his backlash might say to someone else who is afraid to ask for help. There are others battling things we have no idea about- they watch how we react to others when they are down- & use that information to decide whether or not to ask for help (and who to ask).
Monica shares the story from her perspective. She encourages him several times by saying how proud she is of him, his honestly, and his willingness to talk about his battle in real time.
Dax and Monica both share how Kristen, Dax's wife, met him with unconditional love and acceptance. Dax ends the podcast with apologizing, again, concerned that Kristen doesn't deserve to have to go through this in the press for the next six months- revealing his love and sincerity for his wife, while acknowledging the coming media frenzy.
Dax shares in detail how his first slip up occurred and how each slip up after became increasingly "shaddy." Listen to his full story here-
What is the lesson for us?
Listen, without judgment. Listen, to learn.
The ego is self-serving in the most destructive ways. The ego says we can handle things on our own. The ego says we don't need help. The ego says, "If anyone finds out..."
Humility and authenticity can be painful but it is the only way we can be true to ourselves.
Healing and growth are hard for everyone- imagine doing it in real time while everyone is looking.
What is your ego telling you?
What secrets are you keeping?
How can you be more authentically you?
How can you create space for others to do the same?